Recently, in meditation, I asked my Infinite Wisdom Council why I kept feeling stuck. Why I felt like I was not making as much progress as I “needed to” or “wanted to” in different areas of my life. I shared my frustrations about feeling like I was wasting time and that many days, I felt like I was contributing very little if anything to humanity. I was really down on myself and I just remember wanting some answers and wanting to feel better.
Spirit shared a very powerful message with me- letting me know that the source of much of my frustration was rooted in my misguided desire to “be special” and “feel special”. That at its core specialness tends to be about separation and that as I focused on figuring out how to “be special” in the marketplace, in society and in my life, I was losing focus of the main gift which is to celebrate and share my uniqueness. That my desire to be special was deep down about waiting “to be chosen” and wanting someone else to “deign me worthy enough” to do the work I want to do in this world. That even though I’ve made huge strides in my healing and spiritual development, that this was yet another area that I needed to become aware of so that I could work on it and work it out.
Spirit made sure to tell me that this was not an indictment of me- but a mirror being held up to show me where false thoughts were running aspects of my life. It was a profoundly humbling experience and showed me that I am on the right path and that me…all of me… is A-ok. It also showed me that anyone who has a pretty good sense of self can still fall prey to the outside bullshit and social engineering if one is not vigilant and diligent about what they allow to take up space n their heart and their mind.
Spirit had a lot to share with me that day, so here is a summary of my understanding of the message:
What we are supposed to see is the amazing-ness of the creative power of LIFE. We eliminate injustice when we all realize, accept and embrace that we are all infinite, divine expressions of creation itself. Each one of us is a representation of both the complex and simple power of the Creator. All of this- the thing we call life- is the Creator witnessing and experiencing itself in all of its infinitesimal glory. As each generation is born, we are witnessing a demonstration of the Creator’s power to evolve for the better. If we could universally tap into just 5% of that power to create, speak, love and live from this same place, what would our world really look like? What impossible thing would suddenly become possible…easy and natural as breathing?
The pain of growth and justice is realizing that no one is special or worthy because of who they are and/or what they do. It’s this specialness, worthiness and favoritism (that our economy is also built on) that causes so many of our problems. The pain that so many of us are experiencing right now is because many of us feel like we are not special enough of worthy enough to MATTER. So many of us feel lost and confused about life and the best cure for that is to remember our unique nature- which says that we each matter simply because we matter. This is a lesson that we forget over and over again, but it’s one of the most important lessons that we will have in life. It is from this place of inherent uniqueness, that we want to draw the fuel that allows us to grow and prosper. We don’t have to wait for permission from another to feel good about ourselves. At any time, we each have the ability to tap into our power and feed ourselves.
Detach from the desire to be special and go about the business of reconnecting to your unique, divine self.